A common question I get from people is “Why?” Why do I write books and a blog that offer advice? Do I hope to get rich? Be famous? Ah, nope. I had a chance to shoot pilots back when I did standup and decided not to; pilots are the way to being both rich and famous. The ideas of not being able to go out in public without being recognized or not knowing whether people liked you for you or your money, were both very unsettling. I realized I didn’t need a lot of money; just enough to live the comfortable lifestyle I wanted, and I didn’t want to be a household name; I far preferred anonymity.

I don’t suspect people really want to know why I write; rather, when they ask ”why,” they are asking me, ”What’s in it for you?” I write to help others achieve their goals or to entertain them; to share what I can that will help. What’s in it for me? I can’t describe it. When I was a comedian, I couldn’t describe what it was to be onstage, making sold out audiences explode with laughter. And, even though killing a room was great, the smaller examples were more rewarding–the coed upfront whose beer came out of her nose she was laughing so hard or the woman who peed herself because she laughed so hard or even the guy who came back the next night to tell me I got him laid after the show because I put his date in such a great mood. (I got a lot of guys laid as a comedian–A LOT.)

Recently, a guy named Dan emailed me. He liked my book Choiceand appreciated my effort so much, that he took the time to write down typos he found and to summarize the book in an extended outline on WikiAnswers. What’s in it for me? This is what’s in it for me–when someone does something because of my work for me when there is nothing in it for them. Neither fame nor money can buy that because it’s sincere and fame and money can’t buy sincerity.

Here’s an excerpt from the email Dan sent me:  

Hi Ian,I’ve greatly enjoyed your book – it’s been a fast and insightful read. I’m a software developer coming from Europe, so some examples pertaining to American football were somewhat alien to me, but the book nevertheless got its message across.

As a way of saying thanks, I thought I’d share a few typos that I found:

To Dan and all the Dan’s out there (there have been many–readers who put up reviews of God on Amazon, people who email me to thank me for helping them out and to share the story of how, and so forth), thank you for your sincerity and for taking the time. You are the ones who keep me going and make it all worthwhile.

Here is an interview I did recently for Nadine Owens Burton at The Power of Care. Good stuff! Check it out and check out her other shows, as well.

This question came up the other night at a bbq party. It was pretty interesting; there were a lot of complicated answers and dissecting of both dating and the question. People didn’t really seem to know what made the perfect date for them. Perhaps that is insight into why relationships and dating can become so unnecessarily complicated. I thought about the question and realized very quickly the answer, at least for me. The perfect date? When you don’t want it to end. (When I say that, I mean when neither of you wants it to end.) Remember, date simple. Think simple. Don’t make things so complicated. Dating is not a math problem; it’s simply getting to know someone else while determining if they are worth getting to know even better and sharing more of yourself with. It’s that simple. Enjoy!